Friday, August 27, 2010

Spread the Love


One year ago, my boyfriend and I were assaulted and mugged at knifepoint, one block away from my old place.  It was a very frightening experience.  At the risk of making this blog more personal than I prefer, I’ll just say that it’s incredibly hard to wrap your head around how one human being could do something so vile, selfish, and hateful to another like that.  If they had simply asked for the cash, I would have handed it right over – the violent stuff was an unnecessary ugly act.

However, what amazed me in the days, weeks, and months after it happened was the outpouring of love that came from this sixty-second, terrible moment.  From the police officer who offered us iced tea back at the station, to my parents who were at my doorstep first thing the next morning, to my boss who sent flowers and gave me time off,  to friends and family who called or visited in the aftermath, and to the many others who were so caring – it was overwhelmingly beautiful to see those numerous acts of love that came out of the woodwork in response to that single hateful act.

Since today is the “anniversary” of the event, I’ve been thinking about it a lot.  I wanted to do something to celebrate surviving it, in every sense of the word.  First, I planned to get a couples massage, as I thought this relaxing experience would be the antithesis to the stress that the terrible act incurred.  But then, I decided that what would better suit my personality was to use the money I’ve been stashing away for the massage, plus a few simple hours out of this week, to spread the love – to show gratitude to those people whose love and kindness towards me, from this time last year and onward, has been so monumental. 


 Here’s where you guys come in – I’d like to use this little blog to create a “spread the love” week, and would like to ask you to celebrate and share the positivity with me.  Basically, all this entails is to do at least one out-of-the-ordinary thing per day for one week that expresses love, kindness, or gratitude towards another person.  

I’m asking you to embark on this with me because it would be amazing to know that one awful experience could become a platform for a bunch of positive, loving experiences, all across the globe, in many people’s lives.  If you’re comfortable with blogging about your journey in spreading the love, that would be phenomenal – please leave your link in the comments, so that others can feel that love.  If you’d rather keep it more personal, I would be ecstatic to receive an email from you about how you’re spreading the love this week.  Or, if you’d prefer to keep it completely private, I respect that, and am more than happy just to silently know that there are readers out there injecting positivity into the lives of others.  If you stumble upon this post late, don’t worry about it, just start your “spread the love week” whenever you choose -- timing is irrelevant.

As you spread the love, please do so in memory of Stephen.  Earlier this summer, this young man with a kind heart and a great deal of promise (he was doing research and dreamed of going to med school) was murdered by the people who mugged him.  He was on the phone with his mother when he was attacked, and she heard the whole awful thing happen, which is unimaginably sad.  Nothing can undo this awful act that happened to Stephen and his family.  But, I’d like to believe that if our little community joins blogging forces to actively spread the love in their own lives in honor of Stephen and everyone else out there who has been the victim of hateful, vicious, harmful acts, a much-needed special glimmer of positivity will start to emerge in the world.

Whew, this has been quite a post to write!  I’ll be back later with a list of some of the plans and ideas I have for this Spread the Love week, plus throughout the week I will check in about my journey in spreading the love.  I genuinely look forward to hearing about your journeys, too.  Thanks for your support in this endeavor, I have a really great feeling about the amazing and good things that could come from this, to counteract the awful.

P.S.  If you would like to grab a special "spread the love" blog button, here it is:

(Images via: me and here)





OhMyDarlingSpreadLove




43 comments:

  1. Whoah Melissa I had no idea! Thankfully it's the minority that do awful things like that and the majority that come to your aid in times of need. I'm glad you had such a great support network of friends and family around you that were there for you. =]
    And I will spread the love this week too, I promise! (I also tweeted about it - it's the least I could do after you blogged about the project)

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  2. this was such a touching post Melissa, I'm really glad you used such an awful experience and turned it into something where you can take positive notes from. I'm definitely one for spreading the love as it were so i'm 100% behind this :) x

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  3. I can't tell you how sad it makes me to know that you have gone through something like that. There are so many people in the world that behave based on hatred. Every single person needs to be on guard and that is terrible thing.

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  4. Oh Melissa, I'm so sorry to hear this. This hit me emotionally, mainly because of several friends having experienced this in their former Baltimore nabes. I'm so glad you were surrounded by a great network this past year...and I absolutely, fully support this lovely idea.

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  5. Oh my sweetie what a horrible experience! I can't even begin to imagine how scary & violating that was. You're such a wonderful person with how you're choosing to commemorate this anniversary. Thinking of other people and spreading love & kindness.

    Hope this day is not too painful for you and I hope that you have a wonderful weekend. Squeeze in some time for that massage as well :) xoxo

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  6. Wow, I can;t believe that happened to you! You're so strong and this is a great idea!

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  7. Oh my gosh Melissa, what a horrible thing to have the experience! And what a great thing for you to do in spite of that experience!

    Thank you for sharing something so personal about your life and I will definitely be spreading the love!

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  8. *WoW* you are so strong to turn that horrible event into such a lovely movement :) Spread the Love!!

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  9. Melissa, I am so touched by the way you are turning an experience that many would cling to with bitterness into something beautiful! This is an amazing gesture, and I hope that many will take your challenge :]

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  10. This is a great idea Melissa! I am so sorry you had to experience something so awful. I will be spreading the love this week for sure!

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  11. first, you are so very brave. To find love and compassion after being aggressed upon is a rare gift that speaks to your passion, motivation, and big heart since it requires effort to cultivate.

    second, I'm so in. I've had some spread the love ideas on the back burning, so now you've got the fire starting and I'll hop on it!

    third, huge hug. and even though you've decided to not do the couples massage. I would suggest that you and your boyfriend find a moment to relax today. It isn't selfish. It is self care. and in order to spread love to others we must first find the time to love ourselves.

    love,

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  12. Oh my gosh first of all, I am SO sorry that you had to go through that... what a terrible situation--and, like you said, something that I'll never be able to understand. Second of all, I'll definitely be spreading the love and I'll make sure to let you know about it :) Way to transform the negative into the positive!

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  13. That's terrible! I'm glad you were ok...and what a great way to spend the next week. I can't imagine how it feels to be mugged. I had something stolen out of my purse and even then I felt violated!

    I'd love to participate, but I think I'll just add my love spreading at the end of my next friday post :) I hope you have a great week, and have fun spreading your positivity!

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  14. I am so sorry for what you two had to endure and I am so thankful that you are both well.

    What a beautiful idea, I will spread the love and hopefully post about it next week.

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  15. This is such a tearjerker of a post. I am so sorry that you had to go through that, Melissa; and even more sorry to hear of Stephen's story. What a wonderful mission you have undertaken! :)

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  16. wow melissa, I'm so sorry you had to go through that, but what a wonderful attitude you have to "spread the love"! I will spread the love this week :)

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  17. ...such an awful experience!
    So sorry to hear that...so glad you guys are fine now! ps: lovely idea by the way
    all the best~

    xo

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  18. I'm so sorry for what you went through, but what a beautiful way to try to bring positivity out of such a negative experience.

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  19. oh my! you poor thing! glad you guys are okay though but that poor guy! and even worse for his mother who had to hear the entire thing! i couldn't imagine!! i am totally in! a couple of years i was sexually assaulted at a bus stop near my school and it is amazing what gross and horrible things people do to others who they don't even know...and as staying positive is one of my 4 simple goals you know you can count me in!

    love this idea!!!

    xo,
    cb

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  20. you are an inspiration. This is how we should all be living every day. I am so sorry for the hateful act of violence that came upon you a year ago today. I remember reading about it in one of your earlier posts. :(

    Love and Light, Daisy

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  21. I love that you are taking such a negative experience and doing something so positive in response! This is a beautiful idea and project! :)

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  22. Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry to hear about your horrible experience. I agree, it's so heartbreaking that one human being can do something so unimaginable to another. I love your idea about how to celebrate your survival. I'm definitely going to spread the love with you! Thanks for sharing this with us.

    xoxo
    Valerie

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  23. Melissa- this is an absolutely wonderful idea. So heart-felt and I have to admit I'm a bit jealous I never thought of this myself...but glad that you are the one to implement such an awesome and positively infectious idea :D

    I have already put the button on my blog, and will continue to "spread the love." I think all of Baltimore was struck with such sorrow when Stephen was killed so senselessly. I, too, will do these things in his memory, as well as in memory of all youth who have been victims of violence in this city.

    Thank you for this. Best blog post, by far.

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  24. My heart just breaks that you had to go through such an event and for Stephen as well. I will happily Spread the Love -- little things are sometimes the best things to do. You're so fantastic, Melissa. I really wish I could just give you a huge hug right now.

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  25. Your kindess is endlessly impressive, Melissa. This is a wonderful idea. It's definitely going to be on my mind (and in my actions) this week. :)

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  26. What a wonderful idea Melissa. My little sister went through a similar thing years ago when she was working in a Pharmacy. She still suffers. I am definatley joining in. I think you are wonderful, brave, strong person to be doing this.
    Lisa

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  27. I love your idea. Counteract all the badness of the world by putting out as much love as possible. While I hate the fact that we often need an act of violence to remind us of the importance of letting people know just how much we love them, I'm definitely with you on spreading the love.

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  28. Melissa, awesome idea. I will do my best!
    A few years ago, one of best friends was raped in her own apartment. How she handled all of it was simply amazing. In memory of Stephen and others...
    Peace,
    Naila Moon

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  29. that's so great that you can turn a horrible act of malice into something that spreads love into the hearts of others. there's a quote that says, "Some people brighten a room when they enter, and some people brighten a room when they leave." melissa, you are definitely one who brightens when you enter the room! <3

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  30. Please come over and view. Peace...Naila Moon
    http://onegreatbigmashuganaworld.blogspot.com/2010/08/spreading-love-even-when.html

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  31. so wonderful that you turned a negative into a positive. i will be spreading the love today!

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  32. Wow Melissa. I'm so sorry you had to go through that, but you are definitely turning it into something AMAZING. This is so wonderful of you. You're such a great person.

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  33. oh honey, this is a beautiful post. this is actually my first time to your blog and i had no idea that i would find such an amazing personal challenge. first of all, be gentle with yourself today {and every other day really}. secondly, thank you for being the kind of strong, inspiring person to turn trauma into love - many people cannot do so. and third, i would love to help change the world around me with an outpouring of random kindness this week in your honor! <3

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  34. wow melissa, that is so awful and traumatic. i love that you are turning it around in to something positive, you were already pretty awesome in my book but you just kind of topped yourself :)

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  35. wow! i am speechless. what a terrible experience and so selfless of you to turn it into something for others.
    hugs to you doll,
    gina

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  36. Oh Melissa! I am so sorry to hear this! How awful and terrifying! I L.O.V.E. this idea of spreading the love! I am coming into this late I guess. I have been MIA for awhile, but I am going to do it!

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  37. this is an awesome idea, melissa. i love how you turned something bad into something amazing, full of unending goodness. <3

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  38. hi melissa! i'm a first time visitor - and let me just say, it's incredible that you are turning a truly awful experience into one that can bring others such joy. thank you for sharing your love, and your story, with us.

    i'll be spreading the love all week long (and longer... what a great concept!)

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  39. Oh, Melissa! I had no idea why you'd started it. It's so sad but it's nice that you've done something cute about it.

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  40. Oh my goodness, this is an incredible idea!

    I am so sorry that happened to you. I truly do not understand how people can be so cruel. I love that you are able to turn something so horrible into something beautiful. I so want to be a part of this "spread the love". I'm grabbing a button for my blog and going to start thinking of ways to do my part. :)

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  41. Hey Melissa!
    I've been out of action in the blogging world for the last week so I hadn't read this blog (Your one of my everyday blogs that I like to read). Thats so horrible what happened to you. I'm going to start doing my part :). I'm not sure when I will be able to write a post but I will definately mention this next time I'm on there.

    It's so amazing the way you want to do your part :).

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  42. I am stumbling on this late. You are so kind and full of heart. I love your thankfulness and that you are paying your beauty forward. Such a joy to read and experience!
    xoxo

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  43. I agree with all your comments, what a horrific experience.
    I wanted to share link I found a few months back about spreading the love.
    all it takes are some lemons and a sharpie (to write messages of encouragement)

    here it is:

    http://heatherfuture.blogspot.com/2008/03/project-lemon-part-1.html

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